Dr Julie | Psychologist

👉 A woman’s mental health is never more vulnerable than in the first year after she has given birth. If you have noticed your wellbeing fluctuating since having a baby, I have a message for you. It’s not your fault. Having a baby has never been easy but our modern world, with all of it’s advantages that make life easier, seems to get this one so wrong. And both Mothers, Fathers and babies pay the price. The reason that mental health is so at risk during this time is because the core pillars of defense are all knocked out from beneath you. Some of those we can’t control, like sleep. Others we could use to help ourselves stay well, like social connection, nutrition and movement. But for anyone living in a place where community no longer exists, and Surestart centres or groups have been shut down, trying to look after your mental health alone, at the time when you need support more than ever, can feel overwhelming. We must do better for families. Feel free to share this message / video ❤️ 👉 For anyone who needs a helping hand through those often dark and lonely moments check out my New York Times / Sunday Times bestselling book ‘Open When...’ it is finally out now worldwide (link in bio) Also check out my million copy bestselling 1st book ‘Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before?’ Both are available across the world in over 35 languages x

👀 Did you spot the shift? 👉 It’s easy to miss it at first, because it is so gradual. But that is how change in emotion state tends to happen too. It’s not the flip of a coin. It’s a gradual shifting that takes time. The trouble with that is we become impatient when the feeling is uncomfortable or painful. We want it gone now. So, the temptation is to do whatever numbs it fast. Every time we do that, we lose touch with the natural course that human emotion will take, when we allow it to be present. It increases in It’s intensity, then slowly comes back down. 👉 ‘When it’s difficult to be with your feelings’ is the title of a whole section of my new No.1 Sunday Times & New York Times Bestseller, Open When. It breaks down into all the emotions we tend to struggle with, and I talk you through how to get through and out the otherside in the best way possible. If you comment the word ‘book’ I will DM you the links to some amazing discounted prices. The link in my bio has links to UK, USA and some international retailers. When I wrote this book I wanted it to be a gift to yourself through hard times, but also to the people you love, when you can’t be there to see them through their own tough moments ❤️

👉Don’t make this mistake 🐸 We tend to adjust and tolerate harmful changes if they are gradual and subtle enough. Where in your life have you put up with gradual deterioration until it’s too late? 🔥The use of the blow torch in this video might seem a bit shocking. But it is there to represent how harshly the heat can be turned up once we are trapped in a situation by our tendency to adjust rather than address problems. We might become broken down or weakened by the ever increasing toxicity of a situation. So, whether it’s a workplace, a relationship, a personal situation or a wider problem of town or country, the boiling frog metaphor speaks volumes about the potential consequences of not addressing small changes until it’s too late. Note: The boiling frog metaphor came from an experiment that was done over 150 years ago. The original theory has since been contested by modern biologists. But the value in the fable remains. Feel free to share this message / video @drjulie ❤️ If you enjoy my videos you’ll love my New York Times / Sunday Times bestselling book ‘Open When...’ it is finally out now worldwide (link in bio) Also check out my million copy bestselling 1st book ‘Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before?’ Both are available across the world in over 35 languages.

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👉Quick Test - How many can you say yes to? Emotional maturity shows up in the quiet choices you make every day—like letting others feel what they feel without trying to fix it, owning your mistakes without defensiveness, and knowing that your well-being matters too. It’s not about being perfect. It’s about growing into someone who can handle discomfort, stay grounded in relationships, and lead with self-respect. If this resonates, you’re probably further along than you give yourself credit for. For more tools to build that inner strength, my million-copy bestseller *Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before?* And my New York Times bestseller, *Open When,* both show you how to use the tools needed and guide you through on the days you need it most.

🔥 The last is the key! 👉 Ever felt like your reality was being twisted? Most likely, we have all felt that on occasion. Gaslighting in relationships is more common than you think. But once in a while does not have quite the same corrosive impact of the repeated cycle can alter the entire dynamic of a relationship over time. If this is happening to you persistently and you notice that you no longer trust in your own judgment, start writing things down. Keeping a journal of these interactions can help you begin to spot patterns in the relationship. Trusted friends or a therapist can be a lifeline of support that offers an outside perspective and the encouragement to find a way through. 👉 If you like my work you’re love my million copy bestseller, ‘Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before?’ And my New Sunday Times & New York Times bestseller, ‘Open When…’ please see the link in my bio where you can order both x

👉 Can you answer no.4? If these signs of loneliness resonate for you, this is something to take seriously. Not just because the feeling itself is painful, but because it is both a warning sign for the strain that a lack of human connection will put on your overall mental health, but also crucial information about what you need in order to make things better. For some people addressing loneliness is about finding and creating opportunities for connection. For others, it is about tackling the fears around social interaction and the skills needed to thrive in those environments. There is not enough room to do all of these subjects justice in a caption, but if you want in-depth guidance from me, I cover them all in my new, Sunday Times & New York Times bestseller, ‘Open When…’ Also check out my million copy bestseller, ‘Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before?’

👉The last one is a common trap! More on this below.. For those who find themselves wanting to leave a relationship and blaming themselves for finding it hard to break away, it’s never been as easy as you tell yourself it should be. If your partner is using any combination of these manipulations, you will be more isolated, vulnerable, and confused about how best to proceed. Not because there is anything wrong with you, but because that is the effect these behaviours have on most people. Finding some form of support outside of the relationship is crucial. It helps you to get a wider perspective on the relationship. Doing that on your own is not easy. That person might be a trusted friend or family member or a professional. Learning about these types of behaviour can help you to spot them while they are happening and to see them for what they are. 👉 If you enjoy my videos you’ll love my new book it was a New York Times & Sunday Times bestseller! ‘Open When...’ it is finally out now worldwide (link in bio) Also check out my million copy bestselling 1st book ‘Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before?’ Both are available across the world in over 35 languages.

👉 The last part is crucial💥 Here’s something you might not expect: whether or not you meet diagnostic criteria isn’t the most important part. You don’t need a diagnosis to reflect on your wellbeing and notice it might benefit from some attention. Whatever a doctor says you have—or don’t have—you can take charge and start making positive changes. You don’t have to be at the mercy of anxiety forever. There’s a whole toolkit available to help you reclaim your life. Therapy is wonderful, but it’s not accessible to everyone—and if you’re reading this, you already have access to a world of knowledge online. If you would prefer a more personal guide from a professional, the Anxiety Action Plan in the new edition of my first book, *Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before?*, offers a clear, evidence-based guide to tackling anxiety step-by-step. My latest book, *Open When*, brings the words you need when fear takes over and you don’t know where to turn—one to keep in your bag for tough moments. Links are in my bio. Follow me for more videos on this subject. Feel free to share @drjulie ❤️

👉 Never do No.1. When panic hits, your instinct is to make it stop. Fast. But some of the things that feel most natural are going to make panic attacks worse in the long term. Here’s what to do instead: Quick Note: IG captions have limited space. If you are serious about tackling anxiety and panic, see the link in my bio for the new edition of my bestselling book “Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before?” for a full Anxiety Action Plan, all grounded in evidence-based therapy 1. Feel the urge to run — and stay (if safe). This one seems to go against all your instincts. But if you know this is a panic attack, then escaping from what triggered it will do more than give you instant relief. It will reinforce the idea that it was indeed an unsafe situation. For example, if you panic in the supermarket and leave before you calm the fear, then returning to the supermarket later, is more likely to trigger another panic attack. But if you can use the following skills (and the guide in my book mentioned above) then you start to build evidence in your mind that you can manage this situation. This allows you to regain your confidence over time. 2. See the thoughts for what they are — not facts. Thoughts like *“I’m dying”* or *“I can’t breathe”* feel true, but they’re not facts. They are most often a misinterpretation of anxiety symptoms as life threatening, which then ramps up your fear response. They will pass when you start to slow everything down. So, when these thoughts come up, remind yourself that you know these are symptoms of the panic attack. This can take some of the power out of them. 3. Stop scanning your body — take your focus outward instead. Grounding helps to place you back in the here and now, as well as take some of the focus off the distressing symptoms that you fear. Again, I teach this in the book. 4. Take control of your breath. You’re not at the mercy of panic. You can begin to calm the whole stress response by slowing your breathing. I cover a variety of techniques to try in my million copy bestselling 1st book ‘Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before?’ Also check out my latest book ‘Open When...’ it was a New York Times & Sunday Times bestseller!

👉 Do you ever feel like the only grown up in an adult relationship? Comment below. Here’s a few signs that you are dealing with someone who is emotional immature: 1. The relationship is like walking on eggshells, you have to second-guess your every move to avoid conflict. 2. Putting a foot wrong can lead to them lashing out in, often disproportionate rage. 3. In conflict, they might be vicious and aggressive, or switch to play a victim role, placing all responsibility on others to fix the situation for them. These are just some of the signs that might sound familiar. In all of these scenarios it is easy to get drawn into their patterns. But there *is* a way to step back without losing your compassion or your relationship. Follow the steps above and see if you can make this relationship more stable and peaceful. Remember, you are not trying to change them. That is not your job and sets you up with an unachievable task. 👉There is a whole chapter called “When it’s difficult to be with others” in my new book ‘Open When...’ It was an instant No.1 Sunday Times Bestseller and New York Times bestseller. Available for limited time with up to -48% discount. Also check out my million copy bestselling 1st book ‘Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before?’ Both are available in across the world in over 35 languages in audio and ebook. Both links in my bio. If you brought a copy of either thank you for the support 🙏