Joanne L. Molinaro (이선영)

#lawtok #lawyersoftiktok #ice

This video is NOT meant to start beef with trad-wives. TBH, I think the definition of “trad-wife” isn’t concrete enough to disagree about anything. I just know that under any definition of the word, I’m not one of them and never have been. When I saw all the videos going viral for glorifying the trad-wife, it seemed, at first, like an honest response to the invisibilization of the women who are homemakers, a cheeky way of saying, “Hey, I’m enough as I am.” And there’s definitely truth in this—women who choose to stay at home while their partners work outside of the home—they shouldn’t have to prove their worth, to us or to their partners. But I wonder if the pendulum has swung too far. Too often, I’ve seen men not just glorify the “trad wife” but also denigrate the “non-trad wife.” We have been fed a “diabolical lie,” according to these men, and our ambition will be our ruin. What a load of horse manure. I chose my career because I simply couldn’t stomach trusting any man with my financial security. Also, I knew I was smarter than most of the men I met, so why couldn’t I allow myself to compete for their jobs? Finally, I wasn’t in a position to bring kids into my home and even if I had been, I’m not sure why *I* should be the one to give up my career for it simply b/c of my gender. More fundamentally, though, I’ve been thinking about what it means to let women just BE? A few videos ago, I shared how so many accused me of being a self-loathing racist against myself because I had the audacity to fall in love with someone outside my race. How is it that we are still living in a world where men get to tell me whom I should love? Why do we always have to prove the merit of our choices? Why must our choices always be interrogated like we’ve committed some sort of crime? Why doesn’t anyone ever trust us to do what’s best for us? And WHY do we do it to each other? Also, the recipe for this asparagus pasta is you know where! :) #nontradwife #tradwife #veganfood

#lawyersoftiktok #lawtok #icecream

Showdown between Trump and SCOTUS? #lawyersoftiktok #lawtok #ice

In Korea, new mothers are often presented with seaweed soup or Miyeok Guk. Rich in iron, iodine, calcium, and folate, the soup is thought to promote healing, recovery, and lactation. Symbolically, giving a young mother seaweed soup is akin to saying, “Thank you. You did a great job. We are proud of you. We are indebted to you. We love you.” And thus, seaweed soup is also the traditional meal one eats on your birthday. To REMEMBER your mother. The great sacrifices she made on the day you were born, in the months leading up to your birth, and the years after. I wonder whether anyone was there to feed my mother miyeok guk when I was born. My grandmother (her mother) was not yet here in the States and my Dad could barely make instant ramen noodles at that time (he’s since grown into a great cook). What a lonely adventure motherhood must have been for my mom, starting the very second I was born. I love my Dad and I’m proud of the kind of father he grew to be, but, let’s be real—he was far from the supporting husband. He, too, had been raised to believe his job in life was decidedly OUTSIDE the house and were it not for my grandmothers who thankfully came to help my mom, I think Omma’s situation would have been unbearable. There are so many women who have stories like my mother’s. They are forced to bury their sorrow, loneliness, despair, rage, and sadness deep within themselves because airing it would only subject them to a gaslighting so profound, it would be like being wounded all over again. I’m not saying all women are like Omma—some women would joyously give up a career to raise their children and never think twice about it. But that wasn’t my mother and she deserved better. And no—I don’t resent Omma for making me feel unwanted with her advice about not having kids. Yes, I was aware of the implication, even when I was young. And yes, I definitely think it impacted my choices in my early 20s—some of which I regret. But that’s the thing about women—we learn to live with our regrets. And still make room for joy and love and forgiveness and miyeok guk, notwithstanding. #motherhood #koreanfood #womenstories #seaweedsoup

This space is too short to contain all the thoughts I have on this fraught topic. Suffice it to say that of all the videos I’ve made over the years, this was one of the most difficult and I almost didn’t post it. I have received so many comments like these since I started posting my stories online and if you think I’ve grown immune to this level of disgustingness, think again. I am human. It confounds me that so many people—including Korean American men who a part of several bar associations I belong to (oh yes, don’t think I don’t know)—think they have the right to tell me who I should love. Of all the choices that belong to me, I should think this is a given. But count on these people to find a yet another way to surprise me with their misogyny. Not just because they think they can tell me who to love, but because they ASSUME I lack the intelligence, self-worth, and savvy to decipher the fetishist from the genuine life partner. Yes, let’s continue infantilizing women by assuming they cannot be trusted to love the humans they choose to love, that they cannot choose their partners without falling into the trap of internalized racism and self-loathing. And, while we’re at it, let’s just conveniently dismiss everything women have done, all that they have sacrificed to amplify the stories of their heritage, to create opportunity and representation for the VERY MEN who would silence them. MADE UP OXFORD STUDY MY A$$. Also if you want the recipe for this Korean style kimchi fried rice, you know where to find it. <3 #koreanfood #womensrights #kimchifriedrice

Actually I’m technically a food content creator who lawyers on the side… getting back to my OG style of content. #dubaichocolate #vegandessert

Just my $0.02 on Mikayla as an OG TikToker.

I was lucky enough to have my grandmother in my life for over 30 years. I have so many memories with her, starting from when I was a little thing. It made me so happy to see her so proud of what she’d produced with her labor, including me. For those who’ve followed along for a while, you probably are familiar with my “why I don’t have children” story. It isn’t straightforward, it isn’t easy, and it isn’t necessarily over. I’ve been thinking about it a lot more these days, partially because I’m in the process of writing my grandmother’s story. Not just the one about how she had six children, but also the one about who she was before she had them. #doenjangjjigae #koreanfood #storytime #motherhood

#lawtok #lawyersoftiktok #lawyertiktok

I got to spend a little time with my Dad last week (he came to California for my birthday). He’s 81 years old and although he’s mellowed in some ways, he’s still frustratingly obtuse and often says the wrong thing at the wrong time. The internet has, I think, created impossible standards for being a person. Parents, in particular, are subjected to absurd imperatives that no human could ever satisfy. It is, among others, one of the reasons I am sometimes grateful I don’t have children of my own. My father was not perfect and is not perfect and, in all honesty, I carry the wounds of that every single day. But my father has always loved me and wanted the best for ME. He always valued ME and JUST ME—not my duty or obligation or responsibility to my family, to a husband, to the world. Just me. Many people may view my videos as “man bashing,” but if you are paying attention, this video is quite the opposite. #womenstories #reallygoodsoup #healthyrecipes

#stitch with @LULAC how to tell the difference between a judicial warrant and an “ICE warrant.” #lawyersoftiktok #lawyertok #icecream

Replying to @America1st #lawtok #lawyersoftiktok #ice

What is the first amendment? #lawyersoftiktok #lawtok

TikTok … your support means everything to me. 🥹 After nearly 4 years, my new book, HOMEMADE, is available for pre-order. It’s been a very long journey, one that started all the way back in 2016 when I was a newly minted partner at my firm who decided to start a food blog because a colleague unironically suggested after finding me sleeping on the floor of my office, “Joanne, you REALLY need a hobby.” This is what hobbies can turn into, if you believe in yourself a little bit. And sometimes? It can take a LOT of life to grow the courage to do just that. But the good news? It’s almost never too late (unless your dream is to be an NBA basketball player—I can’t help ya there!). HOMEMADE is a whopping 437 pages, containing over 100 news recipes, a pantry section chalk full of info on Korean ingredients, and, of course, the stories you’ve come to know and love. More details you know where. ⬆️💕 #thekoreanvegan #koreanfood #veganfood #homemade

Hey everyone my new book, The Korean Vegan Homemade is now available for preorder and it would mean everything to me if you’d check it out as I’ve literally spent the last 3.5 years giving it everything I can <3<3<3 #thekoreanvegan #koreanfood #homemade

#stitch with @cali watson what is a straw man argument? #lawtok #lawyersoftiktok #republicanmakeup

Hi pls don’t let them win. #icecream #idk #youhashtagthis