Momma Cusses

Yep. It’s still good.

It’s true. Ask @ToriPhantom

Oh. We’ve looped right back around. Listen when we said we were ready for precedented times, this isn’t what we meant.

I need Lando Norris Monster. Please. Hey @Monster Energy can you help?

Oh. Okay. That’s specific. Which house are you?

The summer stomachs are so friggin real. Three kids, two parents. If this makes it to June I’ll be shocked.

I’ve always had both a high pain tolerance and pain threshold. Straight up didn’t notice the dog had bitten straight through my lip and cheek. The dog wasn’t aggressive. It was just big. I was not. Play went a little sideways. No one was mad at anyone. And the dog lived out the rest of its natural life before anyone panics. Yes. I have dogs. No. I’m not scared of them at all. Yes. I still have a scar. Again, unbothered queen be I.

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Quick. Who can name the book?

Are crock pots over done? Are our kids going to shun them?

Everyone has a different approach. Mine is “become a zombie as soon as possible.”

If they made a horror movie about this it would be banned in several countries for being too frightening.

The word starts with o. Not R. And yet.

Oh I can just kick his 🍑 til I get bored? Listen I’ve read enough vampire books, I’ll be fine. Hold his arms up.

Yeah. Kids are people who aren’t very good at being people yet. Parents are people who can have moods for no clear reason. But I can be in a mood and do my best not to lose my ish on them. It’s taken a lot of practice to be able to do this.

#stitch with @TamminSursok Ooh. Okay. That hit different.

We love a supportive crew but we are wandering into smothering.

Cover reveal day! A book of essays with topics that make as much sense as being an adult. Which is to say, very little but you kind of get the gist of it? Pre-Orders are open now!

Nope. Oklahoma, I’m done with your BS right now. We’ve got Stitt and Walters and you can keep your damn blu-ray sky ice. Quit it.

Would you buy it, paying a little extra, just to see what chaos I include?